A Surprise in Every Box
by IsaacHayessoulgirl
Summary: Weird prizes show up in your cereal box when Ren and Stimpy work in the factory...
1. Chapter 1

**A Surprise in Every Box**

**A/N: Okay, I'll keep this short and sweet. I got the idea for this after seeing the episode of **_**Seinfeld **_**where Kramer and Jerry drop a Junior Mint in a patient getting surgery. Please R&R! ;D**

**Chapter 1: Fired**

Ren came home from work, flopping on the couch. He sighed in frustration, tears welling up in his eyes. Stimpy heard him come in. "Joy! Ren's home!" He skipped into the living room, unaware, as usual, of Ren's cranky attitude. He took his coat and hat off for him and hung them up. "So, how was work?" He said kindly, sitting next to him, ready to listen. Ren's tears increased. "I-I-" Stimpy gasped. "Did'ja get promoted?"

"N-no-" He could hardly speak. "Did you go see the magic pizza man?"

"Mm-mm." Stimpy jumped up with great enlightenment. "I KNOW! The Candy Bracelet Fairy took you on a voyage on the MYSTICAL MAJESTY TRIP TO MEET MEAN MR. KETCHUP!"

"NO, YOU EEDIOT!" He screamed, immediately going back to his sulking look. "…I got fired." He covered his eyes with his hands and started sobbing. Stimpy thought for a second. "Oh, dear." He put his arm around Ren's back. "Aw. It's okay, Ren! You'll find another job! Don't worry. Now, what's wrong? Could they not afford to keep you? Try talking with your boss!"

"But you don't understand! Me and my four pals got high, and Pim McHaggis dared me to rub my butt on the carpet of our boss's office!"

"Ren! How could'jou drag your butt on your boss's carpet!"

"Deed I say that? I meant that they framed me!" He began crying even louder. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Ren! But won't your friends get fired too?"

"No! Jim Lemon, Pim McHaggis, Jack Hair-in-the-sun, and Bongo Sun all wanted to get fired anyway so they could create a band called the Earwigs!" (Don't be offended! I've got five Beatles posters in my room! How's _that _for unhealthy worship? XD) "Well, uh… look at it this way, Ren! We get to spend more time together until you get a _new _job!" Ren looked up for a second but then cried even louder. "Wull… you get to sleep in tomorrow!"

"YES!" He gave Stimpy a big hug. "Thanks, honey!"

"Well, dinner's waiting. C'mon, sweetheart." Ren grinned.

**A/N: Sorry if you don't like this chapter, but don't worry, things'll heat up!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Stimpy's job Offering**

Stimpy woke up the next morning to find Ren still asleep. "Oop! Don't wanna wake the little angel." He kissed Ren's cheek and tiptoed away. He went into the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal. "Oh, joy! My favorite cereal! Sugar Frosted Dextrose!" He started jumping up and down like an excited little child. "I wanna get the prize! He poured all the cereal into his mouth, making charming gargling noises. He started choking. He reached around and got a random light bulb over his head as he pulled a vibrant pink wristband. "Oh, joy! A crappy, trifling wristband with _Finding Nemo _characters on it!" He had a look on his face as if he were a genius who just made a HUGE accomplishment. "It was _totally _worth it," He explained. As he put all of the dispersed cereal back into his mouth, he looked at the back of the box. His eyes grew wide when he saw a help wanted sign on the box, which I don't know is possible anymore, as it's no longer the forties. "EUREKA!" He grinned. "Ren and I can get jobs at the cereal factory together! Yes! And we'll have the exact same shifts! Duh, I will wake Ren up right now!" He ran into the bedroom and literally was carrying a half-asleep Ren in green footsie pajamas over his head. "C'mon, honey! An interview at an artificial cereal factory awaits us!"

"O…kay," He slurred with pure exhaustion, not at all aware of the situation do to his fatigue.

The two sat in chairs in front of a dark desk. Stimpy, looking bubbly and eager as ever wore a black jacket and red tie to look fancy for his big day. Ren was still in his green footsie pajamas, still not the least bit conscious. That announcer guy who sold Salve and pushed Stimpy into pressing the History Eraser Button… literally was behind the desk. "So, you think you've got what it takes to work in this _man's _country?"

"Yes," Stimpy answered with the young glee of a very happy five year old. Ren just made a gargling noise. "Uh… Ren's a little nervous," He explained. The man nodded, understanding. "Have you or your demented friend here ever thrown up in someone's hat?"

"Well, yes, but what does that have to do with working in a cereal factory?"

"Shall we continue?"

"Well, uh-"

"Have you ever done the polka with your grandma?"

"Huh?"

"Moving on. Had sex on a trampoline?"

"What?"

"We're making great progress! Masturbated behind a cactus?"

"I don't understand this a _all!" _Stimpy cried, pulling on his ears. The man's face fell serious. He grabbed Stimpy by the collar of his shirt. "Have you ever killed a man? Beaten a hooker?"

"Heavens, no! And what's a hooker?" The man got happy and frantically shook Ren and Stimpy's hands. "Then this is then place for you! Now go away! See you tomorrow at seven a.m. sharp!" He pushed them out the door. Stimpy was unbelievably confused. "But- I don't underst-"

"Bye!"

**A/N: Well, the next chapter's when things start to get interesting. See you then!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Welcome to the Fattery**

Ren woke up. He stretched and trudged into the kitchen to see Stimpy cooking in his little chef's hat. Stimpy smiled. "Well, look who's awake just in time fer dinner!"

"Deenner? What are you talking about, fatso?"

"Well, you slept all day! Oh well, I _did _wake you up pretty early. Lard loaf?" He offered Ren a plate. "No!" Ren slapped it away. "Why were we awake early?"

"Oh! You don't remember? I got us jobs at the Sugar Frosted Dextrose fattery!" Ren blinked and raised an eyebrow. "Don'chou mean _factory?"_

"No," He answered, concentrating heavily on flipping an egg. "Fattery. See, it's so disgustingly unhealthy that they call it a fattery!" Ren looked even more annoyed, if possible. "How _delightful."_

"It is, isn't it!" He giggled. "Alright, when's work?" Ren inquired as he sat at the table, rolling his eyes. "Tomorrow at seven," Stimpy answered as he gave Ren his food and sat with him. "And it ends at four. Ren smiled a bit. "Well, eet's nicer than my old job." He sipped some juice. "When do _you _start?"

"Same time as you, Ren," He said in that giddy little voice of his. "B-b-but _whaaaaaat?"_

"That's right, Ren! I got us the same shifts! I know how happy you were when I promise we'd spend more time together, and I didn't want you to be disappointed when we got new jobs, and vi-ol-a! We've got the same shifts." He gushed. "Isn't that _great, _Ren?" Ren kicked himself in the face.

They both woke up at six thirty the next morning. Ren looked surprised. "Wow. I actually feel well rested." Him and Stimpy hopped in the car, Ren driving. "Hey Ren, how 'bout you be the cool cop, and I be yer partner!"

"I don't theenk so."

"Can I get a water gun?"

"Where the _hell _do you theenk up this crap?"

"The internet."

"Shocker."

As they got out of the car, Ren trudged along while Stimpy skipped, a huge grin crossing his face. "I bet the inside of the factory will be colorful and have velvet chairs!" He squealed and gently elbowed Ren. "Do you agree, sweetheart?" Ren sighed. "Steempy," He responded, not even making eye contact, "Sometimes you imagination and eedioticy makes me obscenely disturbed."

"Whaddo you mean?" Stimpy looked serious. "The eenside 'a that factory ees dark, ugly, depressing and bland. You know, like Miranda Cosgrove."

"Oh, poppycock! I know it'll be-" They walked in to see a dark place with no windows and a bunch of people looking really glum and exhausted, and along the walls there were multiple signs that said, **Miranda Cosgrove's watchin' **_**YOU. **_Simultaneously, the two looked at each other and gulped. Stimpy was sweating.

They sat at stools and began performing their new jobs, stuffing prizes into children's cereal boxes. (A/N: It wouldn't be Ren's only time stuffing things into odd spots! Oh, somebody stop me! XD) Stimpy tapped Ren's shoulder. Ren sighed with impatience. "No, Steempy, I _don't _like Reese Witherspoon.We've been over thees."

"Hmm." Stimpy went back to work but ended up beckoning Ren once more. "Hey Ren, whadda ya say we brighten things up in here!"

"No. I KNOW where thees ees going. Keep your crappy tomfoolery to yourself, huh?"

"Okay." He got up. "Steempy, what the hell are you doing?" He growled. "Eet's only our first day! Are you _trying _to get us fired?" But he didn't listen. He ripped all the Miranda Cosgrove posters off the wall. Ironically enough, the windows were being blocked by Miranda's wannabe perfect face, being the reason the place was so cold. Everyone gasped. Ren smacked his forehead. "Oh, you really deed eet _thees _time, fatass," He groaned. People were terrified. "C'mon, everyone!" Stimpy announced happily. "It's work, not Sarah Palin's house! Be happy!"

"But-but the boss! He'll kill us! He eats people who don't obey." A woman shouted. Stimpy giggled. "Oh, pi-shaw! I'll take the blame if we get in trouble, but for now…" He went over to a random CD player and started playing _Birthday _by the Beatles_. _"…Let's work and have fun!" Everyone gave a cheer.

Everyone danced in place while packaging the cereal. Ren sat solemnly in his spot, looking cranky as usual. Stimpy sat next to him. "Oh, c'mon, honey!"

"No. Fuck OFF."

"Ren, don't talk like that!"

"Whatever, man. Have fun being fired on the first day!"

"But-" Suddenly, _Those Damned Blue Collar Tweekers _started playing. "Come on, Ren! It's yer favorite song!" He grabbed his arm and started dancing. Ren finally got into the groove and started dancing with everyone. Suddenly, a booming voice echoed across the room. "WHAT THE _HELL _IS GOING ON IN HERE?" Ren immediately pointed shakily at Stimpy. "HE DEED EET! I haven't a _theeng _to do weeth eet!" He leaped under his stool. "COME WITH ME!" The boss took Stimpy's arm and marched away with him. Everyone gasped. Ren, getting a stabbing wave of guilt, quietly crept behind them. "Steempy, why'd you have be such an _eediot?" _He whispered anxiously. "What'll happen to heem?..."

**A/N: So, am I good with cliffhangers? Well, we'd better get to the next chapter before Stimpy gets… *gulp* eaten!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here comes the plot!**

**Chapter 4: A whole new kind of Prize**

Stimpy sat in front of the desk, twiddling his thumbs anxiously. "Mr. Cat…" He said menacingly. "I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" He said in an extremely happy voice. "Let's talk about'cher brilliance!"

**Two hours later…. **

Everyone, especially Ren, waited terrified. Suddenly, Stimpy and the boss (not to be confused with Pinky and The Brain) came leaping out of the office. "Let's paint rainbows and such on the wall!" They chirped simultaneously. Everybody cheered. Ren rolled his eyes and slumped away.

As the days flew by, work at the Sugar Frosted Dextrose fattery got better and better. Everyone, even the cranky boss, was delighted. Only one person wasn't happy… guess who. "Hey Ren, where do you wanna eat for lunch?"

"Een the cafeteria like always, you eediot!" He growled, exasperated. "Oh, yeah. So, having a good time, honey?"

"No. Eet's work. A serious place, and you've made eet some stupid fru fru crap! Of course I'm not having fun!" He shouted. "Ren, people are staring. No one here is unhappy!"

"Except me. Now leave me to work." Stimpy sighed and walked away, depressed.

Everyone wanted to sit with Stimpy at lunch. It plagued him with sorrow to see a grumpy Ren eating in the corner of the cafeteria on his own. He suddenly grinned in enlightenment. "I know how to make Ren happy!"

Ren sat on his stool, stuffing prizes into cereal boxes. Stimpy had a chocolate cake. He snickered happily. "This is Ren's favorite!" Hey snuck up behind him. "HEY REN!"

"AH!" Ren leaped up. "WHAT?"

"I got'chou something." He presented the cake. Ren grinned. "OH BOY!" He began to wolf down the cake. "They'll be serving this every day during lunch break! Ya like work now, sweetie?"

"Uh-huh!"

**The next morning…**

Two cute little kids joyously opened their pantry. "Hey, look, Dominique! Mom got our favorite!"

"Otto… do you mean…"

"That's right!"

"SUGAR FROSTED DEXTROSE!" They squealed simultaneously. "C'mon, Dominique! Let's get the prize!"

"Okay!"

They dug to the bottom of the box together to receive their prize. "Wow… what is it, Otto?"

"I dunno. Oh well, it looks fun!"

"Yeah, let's play with it!" Their parents came into the room. "Hey, kids! What are you high speed hoodlums doing?" Inquired their dad.

"Playing with our new prize!" They replied simultaneously. "Well, let's see it!" Chirped their mother. They gleefully held it out. "OH MY GOD!" Shrieked their mother as their dad fainted.

That night, while Stimpy was fast asleep, Ren hopped into the car and drove to a house where a large breasted slut waited outside. "Well, it's about time!" She said suggestively. "Come into my pad!"

"Okay!"

She sat on the bed while Ren dug through his coat pocket. "Where's the condom?..." He grumbled. He suddenly got a look of terror on his face. "Crap! JUST CRAP! I _knew_I dropped something een that styoopid box of cereal!"

"Everything okay over there?"

"Uh… do you believe een abortion?"

**A/N: Touching, isn't it? I hope I'm not offending anybody!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So again, sorry if the abortion comment offended anybody! I'm just goofing! Besides, like no one's ever made a rude joke! XD**

**Chapter 5: World's Coolest Toy**

The next day, as Ren and Stimpy walked into work, Stimpy noticed Ren had a black eye.  
>Uh, Ren, can I ask you a question?" He said, looking away with modesty. "Yes, styoopid?"<p>

"Why do you have such a vicious black eye? Are you having issues at your house?"

"We leeve een the same house, Steempy."

"Oh, yeah. But really, is everything okay?" 

"Yes," He growled persistently. "But why do you have a black-"

"Eet's a rash, goddammit, not a black eye!"

"Wull, you don't hafta get all defensive-"

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!" Tears filled Stimpy's eyes. Ren sighed."I'm sorry, Steempy. I'm a little stressed out." They walked into the fattery and signed in. "Ren, would you like to talk about it?"

"HOEK!" A booming voice shouted. "IN MY OFFICE! NOW!" Stimpy gasped as Ren stiffly walked into the boss's office.

"Hoek, I got a call last night while I was in bed with my beautiful wife!" He showed him a picture, and it was the Fire Dog lady… in a bikini. Ren shuddered. "She's, uh… lovely."

"Yer darn right she is! But apparently, somebody wants to sue us because you dropped a condom into a cereal box! It's been twelve days since we were sued for childhood obesity! Oh, but this is far, far worse!"

"But-but how do you know eet was mine?"

"Because it was sent in and had _your _fingerprints on it, Hoke!"

"That's… Hoek…" He said, unbelievably fearful. "I don't give a shit! Now here's your punishment…"

**Meanwhile…**

"Dominique, Otto, I want you to give me your condom- erm, toy there."

"But why, Daddy?"

"Because it's not for the likes of you. Sorry, kids."

"Your father's right, kids." The wife walked over. (By the way, I'm REALLY sorry I forgot to say this, but the parents are those rich people whose faces you never see. Sorry again!) The kids started crying hysterically. "Honey, maybe we should let them keep it. I mean, they don't know what it is!"

"Well… maybe. Alright, kids, you can keep the toy!"

"YAAAAAY!" They all hugged.

**Back at the fattery…**

The boss was freaking out. "Ugh. I need TV!" He bopped through the channels. He heard things such as the _SpongeBob SquarePants _opening, "Snooki's pregnant!" And, "And in later news, Lady Gaga got kicked in her penis today by people who actually have a good taste in music."

"Well, we decided we won't sue Sugar Frosted Dextrose."

"WHAT?" The boss flipped back. "Well, our kids and their friends seem to be have fun with it, and they have no idea what it is, so why sue the factory that made such a fun toy for our children? In fact, we encourage them to put more condoms into the boxes! The suing is off!" Claimed the father. The boss grinned. "HOKE! IN MY OFFICE!" Ren shakily walked in. "Y-yes, sir?"

"You're being promoted! We want more of those penis wrappers in the boxes! Congrats and all that shit. You're in charge."

"Yes, sir!" He skipped out of the office. "Al-right, you worthless maggots!" He screamed across the fattery. Stimpy looked up in utter confusion. "Ren?"

"As you know, lunch ees een five meenutes," He said, pacing back and forth like a drill sergeant. Everyone cheered. "Well, tough! You'll be spending lunch searching every pharmacy around to find all that freaking condoms you can find!" Everyone murmured in confusion. "That's right! We're gonna be stuffing condoms een the cereal boxes now! No more Chinese toy crap!"

As time passed, condoms were stuffed in every Sugar Frosted Dextrose box. It was soon all over the world. Kids LOVED it. On playgrounds, kids played catch with them and all sorts of cool shit. Ren made a fortune, but in his typical manor, gave none to Stimpy. For example, Ren slept on a new bed while Stimpy slept on the floor shivering. Ren ate lobster while Stimpy ate raw pasta. But still, he never complained because his love of Ren was dominating his life. He saw Ren playing with money and laughing. Stimpy, bags of exhaustion under his eyes, smiled.

**A/N: Wow, Ren's a real doll, ain't he? And just for the record, I have NO idea what a condom looks like! I'm **_**NOT **_**sexually active!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is when things go WRONG… **

**Chapter 6: A cruel, cruel Discovery**

Ren and Stimpy sat on the couch together watching TV. "Um, Ren, can I ask you something?"

"No."

"What _is _a condom exactly?"

"You'll find out when you're older."

"I'm the exact age as you."

Ren reached into his pocket that randomly appeared and threw a catnip toy across the room, making Stimpy run after it. Ren sighed with relief and smiled. "Ah. There are some pros about dating an eediot."

But the on their next shift, Stimpy asked the guy sitting next to him, "Hey, Ralph, what's a condom?"

"Yer kidding."

"No."

"Well, you…" And he started whispering in Stimpy's ear. Stimpy had the most fucked up look on his face. (Get it? Fucked up? 'Cuz I'm gofik?) "Why the heck are we selling _those?"_

"Because of your scrawny friend."

"Ren?"

"Yes."

"But we don't need those! We've both been tested!"

"Oh…. Well, talk to _him _about it."

"I think I will!"

During lunch, Stimpy aggressively sat next to Ren. "Ren! _You're _behind this? Why did you have a condom?"

"Well, I, uh-"

"We've both been tested! Are you-" He froze. "…Cheating on me?"

"Steempy, I-"

"How COULD YOU?" He burst into tears. "But Steem-"

"I don't believe it! I'M MOVING OUT!" He ran away sobbing. "Well, fine! Who needs ya!" Ren screamed, raising his fist.

Well, I think we all know where this is going. Ren is unhappy without Stimpy. It's the cheesy music montage where he is at first having fun, SURROUNDED BY ENOURMOUS PILES OF MONEY!

But of course, he sees a picture of Stimpy and starts crying. "Enough of thees cliché movie-like crap! I gotta get Steempy back!" And he ran out of the house crying.

**A/N: Well, I won't give anything away except that Stimpy's in a bad, bad place. I pity him deeply. XD**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm sorry if any of you readers are a fan of this show I'm about to mock, but I really don't like it. Forgive me!**

**Chapter 7: Stimpy in the Land of Food**

Ren had searched for Stimpy all day. Bags inder his sad eyes, he flopped on the couch and switched on the TV. "Where could Steempy be?..." He groaned. Suddenly, Stimpy was on the screen. "Ren's eyes widened. "Oh, no. Don't tell me we're repeating the first episode!" But Stimpy was actually running across the screen, crying for help. Ren gasped. "Steempy ees een _Adventure Time? _Holy crap, I gotta save that poor soul!" He jumped into the TV because this makes no sense. "Steempy?" He called. "Ugh! They call thees storyboard? Thees animation sucks!" Ren, thank God yer here!" Stimpy cried, hugging his leg. "This makes no sense! Everything they say is pointless! And the illustrations are almost crappier than _Rugrats_! Oh, God, they're here!"

"Hey, Jake, let's take our red Jolly Rancher friend to the woods to meet the fish stick lady because her mystical pencil sharpener was stolen by a piece of talking cake!"

"Okay, Finn, let's do this junk!" Ren raised an eyebrow. _"Thees _was Emmy nominated?"

"Hellz, yeah! Why the fruit popsicle wouldn't it be?"

"Steempy, let's get the hell out."

"Yes, please!" And they jumped out of the TV. "Well, what do we do now, Jake?"

"Dance to music with Princess Bubblegum?"

"Heck yes!"

Stimpy went to say something, but Ren cut him off. "Okay, I'll do the talking, 'cuz eef _you _do, thees ees gonna be a long-ass chapter. I apologize, I love you, take me back and all that crap." Syimpy went to say smething, but again, Ren cut him"Off. Really? You forgive me? I'm thrilled!" And they kissed on it. "Tomorrow, we work."

"Okay, honey! But now, let's spend some quality time together."

"You said eet, baby."

**A/N: So again guys, I'm sorry if I offended you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Well, here's the last chapter involving the story! Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time! **

**Chapter 8: It's always fun 'til the shit starts to Happen**

The next day, hand in hand, Stimpy and Ren walked into the factory. They couldn't keep their eyes off each other. "Steempy… I love you so much."

"Ren, stop! Yer making me blush!" He giggled. Just as they signed in, the boss came in. "Look, everyone, we're outta business!" Ren's jaw dropped. "Why?" Questioned Stimpy. "That damn hippie Michelle Obama wants it! Apparently we're encouraging childhood obesity," He said mockingly. Everyone groaned. "Wull, who bought us out?" Steempy asked.

"It's a cereal called Kardboard Krunch. I am fired, but everyone else can stay." He walked out. Stimpy's eyes got teary. "Steempy, get over eet. We're still making money! And we'll definitely stay!"The new boss, who was a really uptight old lady walked in. "Hello, everyone!" Ren tugged at her dress. "Um, I am responsible for the prizes!"

"Oh, yeah. I heard about you! Condoms are a sin! We will now put plastic bibles made in China in our cereal boxes for the prize! To teach the children of good morals and the only correct religion! Let's sing church songs, everybody!" Ren glared. "Let's get the _hell _outta here," He murmured, dragging Stimpy along by the fur on his back.

They sat at home. "So… what happens next, Ren?"

"Whaddo you mean?"

"Neither of us have jobs! What do we do?"

"Well, Steempy, eet'll probably be like every other episode where I don't have a job and we do absolutely nothing all day."

"Okay! I feel okay now. And Ren?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you to death."

"Me too. Now end the fan feec.! We're gonna have some alone time." They giggled and unzipped their fur.

**Stay tuned for the next segment! **


	9. Chapter 9

**We won't be having **_**Commentary with the Stars **_**this time. Instead, here's a little skit created by me and a friend. See, my sister gets offended when I say 'whiz,' as in the euphemism for peeing. She calls it 'unladylike,' and my dad says it's in 'poor taste,' while they say things far, far worse than that. Well, people want me to say things like 'tinkle,' but I personally find that in poor taste because there's a lot of detail involved, so I made up this! But for the record, they weren't as harsh about it as Ren. Please enjoy! ;)**

**Hypocrisy**

***Ren and Stimpy are sitting on the couch. Stimpy with his book, Ren with his **_**Playboy **_**magazine.***

**Stimpy: **"Um, Ren, I hafta take a whiz!"

**Ren, getting really angry: **"YOU WATCH YOUR **[Bleep]**ing mouth! How vulgar!"

**Stimpy: "**Well, it's just that it's common vernacular and-"

**Ren: **"No! I don't want to hear eet! God, eet's een such poor taste! Ees that how you want people to remember our show, Steempy? Een poor taste?"

**Stimpy: **"No! Of course not! I just-"

**Ren: **"Oh, and the little girls watching! This will teach them to be unladylike!"

**Stimpy: **"Ren, I think yer overreacting a little."

**Ren: **"Hey, cameraman, don't _you _have a say een thees? Eesn't that raunchy?"

**Cameraman, who is not being scene, well… because he's behind the camera: **"Ya know what? It _is _raunchy! This is clearly a kid's show! Nothing rude for kids about it at all! You can't say whiz anymore! Ya know what? You can say _anything _you want instead of that! "

**Ren: **"Does that eenclude-"

**Cameraman: **"That's right! You can even say fuck! Just _don't… say… whiz!"_

**Stimpy: **"Then what _can _I say when I hafta go?"

**Cameraman: **"Say 'tinkle!' It's daintier!"

**Stimpy: **"But I find that kinda tasteless and gross."

**Cameraman: **"Say 'tinkle' next time you hafta pee or you're fired!"

_**On the next epidode…**_

**Stimpy: **"Ren, I hafta!..."

**Ren: *Gives him a nasty look***

**Stimpy, gulps: **"…Tinkle."

**Ren: **"_That's _more like eet. Now go."

**Stimpy: *Runs away***

**Ren, calling: **"Now hurry up een there! I gotta take a fuckin' dump."

_**THE END!**_


End file.
